She was right and threw me the question..

How do you keep the match burning?

I couldn't sleep because of this question.

Though things are unsaid but i can imagine their faces.

However, at first glance thing may seem difficult but after a while they are not as hard as you think they are because you tried, that.. you have tried.

A step is what i need... I need to keep the match burning.

I ugently need to go back home.

终究，大家毕业了。

是什么心情呢？

是害怕未来？依依不舍?朋友们？是开心？

我都有以上的感觉吧？除了依依不舍。不会不舍得啊。

一两年前又好多我想要去承担去负责的，而现在没办法。

今天和莉薇说，我好像没办法把心里的感觉说出来..不懂得怎样解释。她说她明白因为她也是这样。人长大了是这样的吗？或许....

God.. it isn't this difficult to calculate my age. Hint - I986.

Why are all the adults think of the age..... FIRST.

Am i not now?

Right, i need to talk about the book - A Thousand Splendid of Suns.

This is thousands times better than Kite Runner.

I love it.

I love it.

What a great book with great ways of telling out the feelings the circumstances.

Any recommendation of new fiction/non-fiction? I'm running out of ideas.. Sorry, quite proud of myself. Hahahahaha.

Aiks..... Spent time looking at the fossil web. Stop dreaming!!!!

Time to sleep.

Good Night.

今天百感交集有好多话想说。
就让我说个够。

一，我实在受不了脑袋里带着奇怪想法活着的朋友们。世界虽残忍可生命却是沸腾的。

二，最近压力都好大，好想买我在Manchester试带的Fossil手表。我好喜欢。可是不要啦。

三，我在爱尔兰，对，很闷。想深一层，在家也不就是这样。

四，我不配...拥有那么多来自你的回忆。我以为我能够把一切丢掉，每一本札记每一封信每一张卡，可是却忍不下心，最后放在一个朋友的家，我真的害怕看见那个大盒子，可是我丢不掉。里面是一切。

五，上星期买了父亲节卡，原来到最后，我没办法寄。我不能..我还是过不了心里那关。

六，其实我压力大时我是不会发泄在你们两个身上。这句引发了，我和你的argument是真实的。我真的累了。

七，太多人有秘密，其实，秘密不止是秘密，它更是像病菌一样的侵蚀你的心。痛吧？

八，我或许告诉你们我想死时很傻很白痴。我不会..同时我不懂得如何解决问题。其实我也不想解决任何问题。该来的就让它们来罢..反正，生命已经被折磨得不堪回首。

九，挽不回的...

My friend, go confidently on the direction of your dream!

Life is short, after all, isn't it?

Got myself a pint of Budweiser this evening because the temperature was so high.

The Irish weather is getting warm.

Seriously, the weather in Ireland is not that good. You just wouldn't know what's next.

I'm going to Giant Causeway and Belfast this weekend and flying to Prague next Friday. Then, results are out after the Prague Trip. WISH ME LUCK.

I'm sorry but i have to do this.
I'm proud of you..
I want to be more proud of you.
Make me feel it..
Do it.


I said.. I was smilling didnt i?

Finally see the BODIES Exhibition, it was great. Many raise up the question the issue, where are the bodies come from? Noone knows but only the Lab. What do you think about an exhibition a show seeing dead bodies as kind of art or education? I have no opinion.

I want to say something that will take a lil time because i myself need to figure out the way telling it out. I am so fan so don't challenge/kacau me recently. I can smile a lil laugh a bit it doesn't mean things go smoothly just that i can calm myself down for just a day, problems still there kay? I am so sick that whenever i talk un-seriously/playful everyone thought i don't care what's happening or it's fine teasing me again and again. Off man. Please off. Yes i had a tiny argument with a friend yesterday, what i said.. was still the real thing i felt. I didn't want to hide any of my feelings. I am getting tired.. You guys just don't know.

Never knew I could feel like this

Like I've never seen the sky before

Want to vanish inside your kiss

Every day I love you more and more

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?

Telling me to give you everything

Seasons may change, winter to spring

But I love you until the end of time

Come what may

Come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high

No river too wide

Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side

If.... things don't go fine......

If.... the world is no more tomorrow.......

If.... I forget everything.......

If.... I.......

There are many things i want to tell out loud.

But i can't.

I need.. something that can calm me down for just one day.

I d0n't know what's that that will relax me.

They are driving me nuts.

I am not too sure about the reasons but i want to talk about my two dears tonight i think the feel just came into my mind. They are friends who gave me the chance to think about myself and what i had done to myself. I learnt to listen to be patient (Hey better compare to taylors time K?) to try to put myself in everyones shoes. I learnt to love to be caring.. I learnt a lot from them i do i do i do i do. I seldom sacrifice for friends but... i will if there's anything to do with them. There is always a big room reserved for each of you in my heart. I miss our days... Our days that were ours.

Everybody knows how important friendships are to a human. What many people don't realize, however, is how complicated and confusing friendships can be. Once you go through the complex stage the confusing stage.. Real and True friendship just went on fine and stable with deeper feeling. We made it Guys didnt we?

Love you...

I watched a show two nights ago called Parents Trap and I still haven’t recovered. I know most of you watched more than once. What a fun thing to do exchanging identity, right?

Dublin is a very beautiful place with beautiful citizen. Irish may speaks english differently unlike american and british but with their beautiful hearts they are so the best. I love them.

Let's talk about addiction. What are your addictions? Well, i have 5 crazy addictions. You know what are the five addictions if you know me well enough. Tell me yours..

今天打回家。

终于肯面对我这两年都不敢面对的事情。

好沉重..

好沉重...

其实，我什么都没有。这让我觉得好可悲。

在很想放弃时有打电话给你们两个。

一个不方便。

一个有压力。

我恨！

我恨这个世界让我觉得很累！

我恨！

我恨这个世界让我抬不起头做人！

但，我更恨我自己..

恨我自己原以为能够勇敢生存，可是却把憋了好久的泪，给流下来了..

怎么就不能勇敢点呢？

I'm back. Do you know how fucking du lan everytime i take Ryanair Flight? I tell you.. What happened to me today? Can't even use SUCKS to describe. I nearly need to pay more than 100 pounds because the big suitcase was 15 kgs overweight. When the idiot told me with her stupid annoying geram tones telling me, the first thought was to go back and book another ticket (I mean not going today) but then giving up is not my priority sooo... Here's the 15kgs problem came. 15 kgs is definately not a joke. I left 30 minutes to solve it because i reached Manchester Airport at 4.20 and the Ireland Counter closed at 5pm. I calm myself down.. I took a deep breath. I walked slowly (in order to calm down) to WH Smith asked for a box. With a small and big suitcase i walked over to a dark corner because what's next is so malu. I squat down took out some stuffs fit them into the box i begged. Walked to the post office send it to Ireland which cost me 30 pounds <- Ferk! 6 kgs cost me 30 hell pounds.. Haih. :(

Ok then.. I threw away my Nike and around 10 clothes. <-Never Mentioned In Front Of Me!!

Then took all the jackets/coats out, hand hold lo. No choice.

Then............ Finally.... By 5 pm, Gao Dim.

18 kgs... Free. But exhausted.

Ok then.. Plane Story.

The hand carry was fuckingly heavy i couldnt lift it up noone gives me a hand fine lo. Ireland is a windy country take place over like play roller caoster.

45 MINUTES LATER

I was suppose to take taxi which i already knew would cost me 35 euros. I've spoken to my sister that she will come out and pay for that 5 minutes before i arrive.

Once i leave the Airport i saw there's this Coach that will reach city centre with only 7 euros. Yes, i took. I was thinking maybe i can get the taxi after the coach.

I took out the phone realizing O2 pay as you go has not roaming services. Due to the Manchester Airport incident... I didn't take cash out...... Which means i did not have either euro or stering. I had 10 euros that has already paid for the coach.
17 JUNE - Dublin City Bike Day <- Roads were blocked.

I got off the coach with the laptop bag which has been taken out from my suitcase, big suitcase and hand carry. I walked jor half an hour.

Haih.. I always know that i am strong but never knew that i could be this strong.

I love my life.

I love what i love.

I love what i've been loving for years.

I love everything everyone around me.

I love my lung and liver.

Hahahahaha.

Just came back from my lil girlfriend's sister place.

Huu.. Nice weekend. However ah, i slept well ate well there howcome still feel tired? Want to sleep jor. Can i?

Going to Ireland in 3 days time. Wish me luck. Will be hyper bored there No doubt. Thank God i still have my own style of living way. Yay.. Oi oi lu.

To SiewLing... "Mm huo yat yat du.. diu.... hmmm.."

又一天了，光阴飞速啊。

是天气？是问题？还是太闲？

有些许烦恼。

郁闷。

Sam, I'm alright in Manchester.

I know it's bit hard to understand what happened to we all.

Guess we couldn't make it. That's really it.

好像感觉有一丝的不平衡，希望猜测错误。

希望我是。

总觉得你不开心。

是我不够关心你？

是你应经不想说不想听了？

是什么?

死。开始乱想了。

希望我没有做了什么啦。

或许我话太多了吧？

Never hide from me. Do tell me.

在这里很安静。

很闷但是又有自在的感觉。

我真的真的要回家了。

家，就是家。

放心放心。

失败感只是小小的一部份。

说实在的，这几天还蛮自在。

或许没烦恼了吧。

或许..

反正很舒服。

Help. I need food.

感觉说来就来。

所发生的事情，遗留下来的只有感觉。

而所发生的，不是发生在我身上，可是我却有很强烈的感觉。

我不喜欢。我真的不喜欢。

这几天，我都带着一贯的表情。

一贯很无聊的样子。

一贯很白痴的样子。

天底下，最失败的人，莫过于我吧。

很久没有失败感了。

彻彻底底的被自己打败。

有太多事我想做又太多话我想说，做不到说不到。

我。真。的。很。失。败。

God.. It 3.30am. I am still packing and sorting out my stuffs.

Damn.. Not too much to talk about today.

Just.. one thing.

Do no bully my vips and family.

You are challenging me.

Yes.. I am Miss F number 4.

Eh? Who the hell are you?

Nothing i guess.

For me.. Those out of my sight are NOTHING. Not even dust in my life.